My blog is all about my life at home with my husband, 5 kids, a dog, three chickens and my garden.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A quiet home and an aching heart
The school gates are open, the summer holidays are over, so the girls are at school, Mike and Guthrie are at work, and the house feels so quiet with just me and the little boy. He seems to have grown in leaps and bounds over the six week break. He is able to make himself understood much more easily now. He no longer has his beloved "boozee" (breastmilk) to help him through his day and night, he is pretty well toilet trained and has started choosing what he would like to wear every day. He's not a baby anymore.
So, his change table has been moved out in favour of a little wardrobe - pieced together using an old "meat-safe" and a bamboo pole as a clothes rail!
He sleeps in a little bed, but still visits mummy's bed at night.
But for all intents and purposes, he needs me less and less. Which is okay. It is the way it should be.
It feels hard, I think, because I had other plans for this year which just couldn't come to fruition. I was hoping to be busy readying our home and family for the arrival of a baby in July. Now that the baby is gone, everything feels strange.
So, with an aching heart, I made this little alter for our baby, the one who is missing from this family. I light a candle, and I tell the baby that s/he is loved, and can come home to me, whenever the time is right. The flame of hope flickers, because I'm not yet ready to give away the change table. It's going into storage for now...