Holidays almost over

The holidays are almost over. It's not that I have to go back to work, but Michael will on Monday, and the children on Wednesday, and that will be really difficult for little Charlie, who loves having all the action around him. It will be just us and it will take some adjusting.

It also means I have less freedom to come and go. I actually did a road trip with my little sister last weekend. It is the first time I've been away from Charlie and it marks a new chapter for us, as he is now weaned! Amazing and, so much easier than I anticipated. It has been relatively tear free. I told him I left "Boozey" in Perth and he seems to have accepted it!

So why the Amazon book link? I thought I'd just show you what I've been reading on holiday.

This gorgeous embroidery book - is lovely, simple and inspiring. I saw it and bought it for my mum's birthday, but after having a look inside, might have to keep it for myself. I do love the idea of embroidery - a lost art really, but don't do much. I had great plans to make Charlie lovely little cotton collared shirts with bits of embroidery...alas, it is yet to happen. But now I have inspiration, so I'll have to give it a go.

Stay tuned...

I've also been reading this book. After the miscarriage I decided it was a chance to drop some kilos, as I'm carrying more than my fair share. I do like Dr Oz's approach as he really details all the science in a readable way, as well as making useful suggestions. I'm pleased to say I have lost 1.5 kilos or thereabouts, and feel like I can keep going. I'm making small changes - trying to be more active, and eating less refined carbohydrates (read: comfort food). It's time to take comfort elsewhere. Perhaps a bit of embroidery will keep my hands busy...hmmm

Slowly...

 Slowly, I'm getting back to my quilt, but when the weather is warm, I'm not motivated to sit at the sewing machine. I prefer to take long strolls on the beach or go swimming, or sit on the deck (photos to follow).

 You can see the quilt that I started almost a year ago (see it here: http://angieathome.blogspot.com/2010/03/one-small-changemarch.html), is starting to take shape. I have finally finished the 20 long strips, each with 22 squares in them. Many of the fabrics are recycled clothing, or leftover fabrics, but I also bought some new fabrics here and there, mostly from Fabricworm (http://www.fabricworm.com/), my favourite place to buy fabrics. I especially love their bundles. The fabrics are excellent quality and gorgeous prints.

So progress is slow, but it will be lovely in the end...

You can see I'd prefer to sit in this lovely spot on a warm day and read a book, or magazine, but it is very hard to do.There's one small person in this family who'd rather have me doing something for him. Fortunately, he's still having lovely long day naps...bliss.

I think summer is a time to takes things slowly. I'm not hurrying too much these days, especially after losing our little one. It will take some time to be ready to rush again, and I suppose that will be imposed upon me soon enough, with school start again in 11 days!

This Moment

A Poem for my lost baby

I'm going to make a pillow
to lay my grief upon

I'll collect all the little reminders
and stuff it full
with everything
that I made for you

silken soft, the mohair silk tiny cardigan
half knitted

The pretty peach, green and turquoise patchwork quilt
the top finished, just waiting for the backing.

The squares of fabric, perhaps a little dress?Or pants if you are a boy?

The tiny little socks,striped orange and turquoise.
Your little white growsuits and other tiny clothes.

My recently purchased maternity clothes, waiting for my belly to grow.

And the ultrasound DVD.The one I couldn't watch on my mac because it is pc compatible. I want to see your heartbeat again. But I can't play it...

Because my little one, you're never going to wear the clothes
The quilt will not adorn your bed
my belly won't fill out the stretchy tops.

Instead I shall lie down
and I'll remember how I saw your future,
how I could see your smiling self, giggling with Charlie, running on the beach,
squeezing my hand with your chubby little fingers.

I longed for your growth.
To feel you move in my belly.
To have your siblings watch you move under my skin.

I longed for your birth. That first cuddle.

The first long look at you, the marvelling at your perfect beauty, your newborn softness.

Instead I put away the reminders and I have say goodbye.

But I'd really rather not.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

Another year has passed, and now I reflect back, but can't remember much at all! I shall try to remember the highlights and other significant events:

• So many changes for Charlie, we're starting to understand his words and sentences, his vocabulary has grown substantially, and he's mastered the art of tantrums!
• Our eldest son, Callum, left home and moved to the big city.No longer a boy, he's living a man's life now!
• Guthrie finished his last year of high school;
• Lily started her first year of high school, impressing all the teachers with her maturity;
• Freya enjoyed school, participated in the Tournaments of Minds, and won the endeavour award in her class. I'm very proud.
• Michael reached the milestone of his 50th birthday. Wow! He's still a young man to me.
• We celebrated our 20th anniversary. Boy, where did that time go?
• I enjoyed another wonderful year of being a stay at home mum. It's very definitely my vocation.

And last, and by no means least, just after my 44th birthday, I was surprised and delighted to find out I was pregnant. After the initial shock, we came to accept that bub number 6 would join our family. Sadly, over Christmas, I miscarried.

So, 2010 ended on rather a sad note for me.

But 2011 is a new year, full of promise. I've made no resolutions, no plans. I just want to take it day by day and really appreciate and enjoy what I have in my life.

Grateful List

I'm trying to be more gracious, to focus on all the good things in my life, so from time to time I write a grateful list in my head.Today I'll try and put some of it down in writing:

 My wonderful daughter Lily who is always lending a helping hand with our littlest one.

 My wonderful daughter Freya, so loving and caring.

 My gorgeous family. My lovely big boy, Guthrie, a born entertainer.

 My sister. I never tire of her company. There's always something to talk  and laugh about.

 The miracle that is is our beautiful boy...

The constant mess and chaos that says, "a busy family lives here".

• The fact that we have a roof over our heads, in one of the most beautiful places in the world;
• Always having plenty of healthy, fresh food to eat;
• Feeling safe where we live;
• having fulfilling,satisfying jobs to do;
• time to spend on the beach;
• time spent crafting.

There's so much more, but I'll save it for another time.
What's on your grateful list?

Christmas 2011

What a beautiful day we had. It was quiet, just us, and the children loved their gifts, their lunch and the cruisey time we had together. Sadly, we didn't have the camera out to take photos. Silly isn't it?I should have some lovely photos of the kids opening their gifts. Especially Charlie who couldn't quite work out what was going on, and wanted to open everybody else's presents!

 Our tree was a bit scrawny. Had to find it at the last minute in the bush on our block. It did the trick, and at night, with the lights on, it is fine.

 Pretty glass baubles bought new this year to adorn the bare branches of our decorative tree (also used at easter time).

 Solar lanterns. So pretty, but we had such overcast days that they didn't work terribly well! We need some sunshine.

 My beautiful Christmas treat for myself: A wonderful blue hydrangea to brighten the front doorstep.

And how the laundry has mounted up! Looks like I've got some catching up to do. Taking time off for the festivities has left at lot to be desired on the domestic front...I'd better go and hang out a load of washing. At least these ghastly Easterly winds we've had for days on end will dry the washing...there's an upside!

I hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas too.